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Depressed

Today is also a depressing day for me. The time to make a choice has come. I am so depressed till I dont even feel like talking at all. I feel so numbed, like a body without soul.

The question " what is my existence in this world?" kept popping into my mind. I guess I am at my limits again. haizzz...

A light in the dark

It seems like whenever I enter a new entry in my LJ, most of it are sad incidents than happy incidents...T___T maybe that's why I didnt really like to update because it was so de-moralising :s

Lady of luck has not been on my side since the beginning of this year till now...I have been going through alot of ups and downs, practically everyday...it has been depressing.

Sometimes you need someone to lend an ear but you just couldnt find or they didnt bother to touch on this topic, kept changing the subject. Even the one who listened to me the most, turned her back on me. It just hurts when you though friends are supposed to help each other out or listening to each other's sorrows or even seeking each other out when need help. However she rejected me, my offer to help, even to listen. T___T She said she already had a friend, helping her to get out of the slump.

However, in one of my darkest times, there was someone for me. She didnt do anything except lending an ear, which I was so greatly gratefully for it. She was also the one who told me to take things easy, some things just couldnt be forced.

Thank you so much, rling for being with me, when I was at my limits, my end. I hope next time I can be the light for you should you need help. (However, on the other hand, I hope that day will not come)

I think my next entry will be after I am back from my trip~in april~

A New Year

Time flies, a new year had come. A lot of things happened last year but the resolutions that I had set, I didn't really accomplish it. T____T
And I lost a few things...

So determind, I have set the following resolutions for year 2008:

1. To obtain a driving licence.
2. To continue with my learning of japanese.
3. To get a new highly paid job. $___$
4. To increase the $$ in my bank. $___$

These are the major ones, there are still minor ones but not that important..(-.<)~ heehee

Hope this year 2008 is a much much better year than last year!!! \(>.<)/

Walking in the Rain~

Recently, I have been so superb BUSY that I don't even have time to catch enough sleep~~well..I know I have been saying this since when but is true T_T

A lot of projects coming in with only me and the boss, plus a new girl who's..err..not that "efficient", working on it and the promised 1/2 half bonus didn't arrive after all..so sad..plus the overload of works and low salary..I think is time for me to seek opportunities elsewhere.

Christmas is drawing near, and I tried to make an effort to meet up with friends who I have not seen for the past one year =.=III so most of the dates this month are fully booked. Busy yet broke T_T

Through this busy period, I tend to realise a lot of things have been gradually changing, a few to my expectation,which made me very elated but major to my disappointment. I have to admit I am a failure at human relationship and communication because of what I have been through from young till now, I tend to be very stubborn in certain way of my thinkings, as per compared to other people. This is me, for what had happened, makes me the person I am now, and despite hardship, I am glad who I am now.

However, some friends think that I am too stubborn, nagging or I don't understand when I replied to their problems that they asked me for advice. Maybe we know there is a gap between us now, a small gap but no one wants to fill up the gap, instead we tried to cover it, by ignoring it or pretending nothing had happened.

As we grow older,we tend to keep things as simple as possible, as peaceful as possible, to avoid any direct conflict with each other which I am doing it now, even I am not happy with it. haiz..

Well, no one can satisfy everyone in this world, so just take it or leave it, ignoring the problem and hope that it will never arise again.

Re: Sick

I cannot believe I am sick again!! U__U Same illness as last month. Last month was horrible, a terrible period for me, down with flu, running nose, sore throat till I almost couldn't talk (>.<) and indigestion..T_____T

I thought I already passed that period but recently, my running nose is back and sore throat U____U I have been eating like a bee, cutting down on fried food and my favorite coffee..haiz..

I was used to having one coffee for the start of the day but now, it had been 4 weeks without coffee..this is terrible!!!!

I hate to be sick, especially office is so busy now, it just makes me feeling even worse..U___U

Haizzz...=.=

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Re: Sick

Feeling terrible~~I have been sick for the past few weeks, visited the doctor 3 times this month. U____U I almost thought that I couldnt make it..heehee..

Recently, getting more and more busy in work, especially another colleague left us, the second one in this month, yesterday was her last day with us. T___T She is going back to her own country tomorrow.

In addition, she actually gave us gifts as a token of appreciation, that's very sweet of her but sad to say, I didnt prepare any gift for her...U____U feeling abit ashamed for it.

Thanks, Nechi, for your help and kindness along. Good luck and hope to see you again!!

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Re: Old friends

nyaaa~~~
Yesterday, met up with an old friend (very old friend),rling, she just came back from Japan.
Rling came back for holiday last february and she commented on our dressing and appearance, being too casual and well..couldnt remember what she had said but one thing for sure, it made me wonder how on earth can I wear that out.....=.=III
So, I was extremely happy that I had passed her expectations last night..heehee.. \(>0<)/
We just walked around, doing some window shopping and ended up having our dinner in delifrance and, strangely, it was playing those songs that we were so crazied about, back to our secondary school days..(lll)
it did bring back those feelings and memories. =D

It was fun last night, I really do enjoy meeting up with old friends, very old friends. It really makes me wonder and happy that our friendship still exists, appearance not much change but our thinking had changed, yet we are still in contacts. =D

Poke, Poke, Poke

Last friday, at the office meeting, my boss announced that one of the colleague had already tendered her resignation, and

"apparently no matter how much my boss offered to raise her pay and even give her the whole office, nothing can make her to stay. " said by my boss.

The reason being she is going back to her own country.

What affected me is that sentence that I had quoted above. It was abit..no..VERY VERY exaggerating but he never said that to me when I wanted to leave a few months back. Once again, I can read the hiddening meaning, that he rather choose her to stay than me.

I already had plans to resign early April next year, before or after my japan trip but since that announced...I even considered changing my plans, becos there will be only 2 of us left..if my boss still unable to find people. Why should I care when he values her more than me??

There is one factor that I didnt tell my boss and never will. The way he "treated" me, indirectly telling me what is my value to him after all, since a long time back, he treated her..This is just so biased.

Till when and where, can I find someone who really treasures my values and me....

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Finally have time to slot in an entry..I had been very tired since last week, running around, bringing my parents to the hospital for checkup and other follow-ups. In addition, due to the drastic change in the weather recently, I was feeling feverish. Haiz..

Last tuesday, I had a conflict with my colleague, a heated arguement that made the boss stepped in to resolve it..on the surface.My boss and I had a 3-hours plus talk, regarding this but dont get it wrong, he was not reprimanding me, instead he was trying to solve the conflicts that long existed between me and this colleague. Yesterday, I had lunch with my colleagues, I guess everyone was trying to "amend" the broken relationship. Fortunately, the lunch event turned out to be great. =D

Despite so many unhappy things happened last week, I am waiting for the Bleach Portrait Cards Part 4 to arrive..heehee..I hope I am able to complete the whole set. {{0(>.<)o}}

I hope I will be able to upload the pictures at LJ but I dont know how to do that :S maybe I will ask around my friends again~~~

re: what a coincidence

Yesterday, met up with a friend aka ex-colleague, whom I have not seen for more than 1/2 year, at the National Library.

Then I realised alot of things happened to her side as well as mine. I sort-of enjoying meeting up once or twice in a year, to catch up with the latest news. =D

In addition, I have seen my (ex) ex-colleague aka (a good friend back in my ex-firm) at the National Library as well. Strangely, I seemed to be able to spot him out of the crowd at most unexpected circumstances..heehee..Glad to see that he is still with the same girlfriend, a very sweet lady, always has a smile on her face. =D

Finally, I managed to find and buy vol 6 and 7 of Lovely Complex. Phew~~ I have been searching high and low since a few weeks back. This comic title is in demand now. ^_^ I love the 1st OP~ Kiss~Kaerimichi no Love Song, the lyrics is SOOO SWEET that is making me diabetic~~\ Bursting with Love/
Hihi, supposed to update this entry yesterday but my brother was occupying the computer last night.

I was anticipanting in the walkathon programe held by some sort of the organisation for charity. It was a first try and actually I was asked by a friend of mine. Her name is Huien, she enjoys participanting in all sorts of charity programes held. =D

For a start, we were late for the openning of the ceremony, the President was there as well, to give his support. At that time, we were actually collecting our T-shirts (to be worn during the walk, but it is not a must) when the horn went off.

After changing into the T-shirts that we had collected, we joined in the walk..well..alot of people were taking their time, walking, chatting and eating (in fact, we were eating and walking at the same time) That's the reason why we were late, we went to get our breakfast.

There were two options, to take the 1km distance walk or 6km distance walk, well, obviously we chose the 6km walkathon..hehe...it felt good to walk at our own leisure, enjoying the sun and the air is fresh.

Halfway during the walkathon, we actually set our "targets" to overtake them. There were two girls infront of us, easily spotted with their yellow shirts instead of similiar to the white T-shirts that we were wearing. We believe that there were quite a number of companies panticipanting in this walkathon. You can spot one or two yellow-shirts among the white ones.

There two girls were pretty fast in their strides, that made them our "targets" to overtake them. In the end we did =D but the sad thing was I had blisters in return. T_T

However, I will want to participate in any walkathons in future, it's really fun and is GOOD to be "drenched" once in a while. hehe..

Re: Beyond my control

I have learnt that some things in this world are just beyond control, the more you want to prevent it, hope that it will not happened but yet the more, things move towards the outcomes you fear.

Abit upset about the truth, although I have already expected it or knew that it will happen but the truth just hurts.

Well, since already happened, I guess I just have to accept it, rather than running away from it, that's not me.

And things not at its worst circumstance, so I just have to be positive towards the future.
Back from Perth last week!!! Really an eye-opening thing for me, so different from SG but it was VERY cold. The coldness chilled me to the bones..even I was fully wrapped with 4 clothings..brrrbrrr..

Unfortunately, my face developed rashes on the third day when I was at PErth..so sad..but fortunately, my face recovered once back. \(>o<)/

But I feel really regretful that I didnt done up my shopping list well, once back, I just realised that I didnt get enough souvenirs for my friends T_T..gals, please forgive me.

Well, now I am going to start preparing for my 2nd trip at early next year..hehehe..=D

Re: Happily Ever After

Last week was a wonderful week for me..heehee..1st, I had completed my collection of Prince of Tennis Bromide Part 10, including the 3 rare chibi cards..so cute {{0(>.<)o}} and bleach strawberry gum part 3..completed as well!!! YEAH!!! So happy!!

I have been "testing" out my new camera recently..like school kids..kept taking pictures of EVERYTHING..heehee..now this camera will come in handy for my Perth trip. YES!! I am going to Perth!!!

Well, another happy thing happened but I will prefer to keep it a secret to no one except myself..heehee...

New camera

I went to the IT fair yesterday, whoa!! It was packed with people, once inside, in fact, I was unable to see much of the products shown, rather I saw more heads than the products..heehee~~

BUT, \(>0<)/ I had managed to get a digital camera, casio with 4 GB storage space and is 7.2 megapixel! Well, there is a price to pay, it cost me $399!!! T_T

Well, no fear now, can take as many pictures as I want, especially going oversea!!! Yappari!!!